im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
