I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
