Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
