Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
