I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize