is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
