Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
