My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
