Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
