i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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