My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
