How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
