I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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