i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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