Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
