oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
