All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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