Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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