oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
