I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
