I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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