wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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