I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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