i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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