Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
