awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
