Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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