I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
