I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
