so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
