you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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