i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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