1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
only if we run a train.
done.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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