white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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