Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
