we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
