Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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