I like my sex mixed with concussions.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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