He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
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