No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
