I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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