Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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