I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm at about main and main street
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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