then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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