thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
