Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
