If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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