Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
