Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
