Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
