there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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