non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
