After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
