i need an iv and a liver transplant
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
