I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
