my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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