Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
