Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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