when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
