Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
