Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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